I hope you will also take some time out to think about the message you want your life to share… does it reflect compassion for the suffering of others? Does it honor your talents and dreams and the blessings? Does it leave people better off for having known you? Does it challenge you to learn more, to do more, to grow more and to become more?
We all like to be liked. Nothing wrong with that. But too often we let what OTHERS think matter more than what WE think. Next time you find yourself at a moment of indecision, ask yourself what you would do if you had didn’t need to impress or be liked; if you were being really courageous.
To create a more equitable world, a more just world and a more peaceful world, everyone of us has to do our individual part. We can’t rely on policy makers, politicians and corporate power brokers. We have to do our own bit, in our own way, to challenge and change that which we know could be better. And doing that will always call for courage.
I remember four years ago today trying to call Peter on his 31st birthday. I was at home in Virginia. He was in a psychiatric hospital in Sydney half a world away. I remember when I finally got through to his ward and a fellow inpatient got him to come to the phone saying Happy Birthday Pete. As the words came out of my mouth I knew there was very little happy about it. This wasn’t the first birthday Peter had spent in a psychiatric ward. He woke up on his 21st birthday in a psych hospital ten years earlier.
If you don’t know where you want to go, then it’s highly likely you will end up in a place you don’t want to be. Of course you can’t change your current circumstances overnight, but you can change your direction. It starts by deciding what you want, and just as importantly, what you don’t want.
We all have our default style and approach of getting things done, solving problems and adapting to new circumstances. Responding with flexibility and agility in our rapidly changing world requires an ongoing trade-off between your naturally preferred way of responding to a challenge and a way that isn’t as easy or comfortable. For every strength you possess, there’s an opposite strength or trait that balances it out. But if you always approach your problems and challenges in the same default way, you won’t always approach them in the best way.” Sometimes you will respond to them outright ineffectively. Agility and flexibility is the name of the game.
Of course I also want you to have a happy year ahead also. But we human beings live along a spectrum of emotions as diverse as all the shades in a rainbow. To wish only to feel ‘happy’ would be to deprive us of the full human experience, living only on a very superficial level, and unable to infuse the tapestry of our lives with the contrasts of human experience that make it truly meaningful. – See more at: https://margiewarrell.com/?p=7812&preview=true#sthash.4yG4VKvn.dpuf
We live in an age of uber distraction. In fact I believe that after fear, it’s a lack of focus that gets in the way of people accomplishing what they are capable of over the course of a day, a week, a year or a whole lifetime. I mean, just imagine what you could do if you weren’t constantly distracted from the task at hand? A lot!!
I was recently interviewed for an article in a magazine via email. I know my answers will be edited down to fit their word count but thought you might enjoy reading through this short Q&A about courage in an increasingly time-poor world. How do you define...
As the world mourns the passing of Nelson Mandela and honors the extraordinary legacy of his extraordinary life, the message that it shared – of courage, resilience, forgiveness and commitment to a cause bigger than oneself – has no less relevance for each of us today than it had during the height of the apartheid era.
While research has found that women have an edge over men when it comes to expressing their emotions and perceiving the emotions in those around them, men are better at compartmentalizing emotions so an upset in one area doesn’t spill over into other areas. However, regardless of your gender or how well you have managed your emotions in the past, the good news is that you are never too old (or too young) to build your emotional intelligence. In fact, it’s one of the few things that actually improves with age!
We live in an era of entitlement, blame and finger pointing. Too few people are willing to take responsibility for the state of their lives, too many are happy to lay it at the feet of others. Only when you own your power to affect change, can you ever create the life you truly want. It begins by taking a good hard look in the mirror and owning how your choices have shaped your reality.
The quality of our relationships is built on the quality of the conversations we have in them. Too often though we play safe and avoid the possibility of an awkward conversation — too raw, too difficult, too sensitive, too risky, too uncomfortable, too much effort. As a result we stick with a status quo we aren’t really happy about. Sometimes for decades. And all because we’re afraid. But at what cost? Here are 7 keys to speaking up about the issues that are weighing you down and holding you back.
Putting off changes and playing it safe doesn’t make you more secure, it makes you less so. Every worthwhile endeavour involves taking a plunge into an unknown and uncertain future. There is no guarantee that a change you will make or a chance you will take will result in the outcome that you want. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either delusional or lying. But one thing is guaranteed: not making changes, not taking chances and sticking with the status quo is not going to make you happier in the long term. More likely it will only make you less happy, and more frustrated or resentful, than you are right now.
“I got three messages,” said Diana Nyad as she crawled out of the water in Key West after her epic swim from Cuba. “One is, we should never give up. Two is, you’re never too old to chase your dreams. Three is, it looks like a solitary sport, but it’s a team.” It’s a message that holds wisdom for us all, particularly those of us who often think we’re too old from pursuing dreams that seem audaciously big.
The old adage “It’s not what you know, but who you know” no longer holds true. Nowadays, it’s not what you know, nor who you know – it’s who knows what you know.” Tooting your horn is about strategically building your ‘personal brand’ to ensure that those who can help you accomplish more in your career, know not just who you are, but the value you have (and want) to contribute. Failing to toot your horn – with the right people, in the right way, and at the right time – doesn’t serve anyone.
I realized this morning that I cannot let this month slip by without acknowledging the milestone that it represents. You see it was ten years ago, in August 2003, while I was living in Coppell (Dallas) Texas, when I officially began my second career and hung out the shingle out as an “executive life coach.”
It was a month before the phone rang. Two months before I had my first client.
I have to confess, I excel at going fast. I’m not so good at slowing down (except from exhaustion at day’s end). In fact, I find sitting still and being silent much harder than running around like a blue-ass fly. But as I have to remind myself time and time again, How does all my busy ‘doing’ undermine who I am ‘being’? If in my haste to pack as much as I can into a day I am not present to my gorgeous kids, or not really listening to my husband as he shares his day, then it comes back to the question “Busy for the sake of what?”
While speaking at a conference in Shanghai recently, I got to meet many women from around the globe. Smart women. Hard-working women. Women aspiring to do more, be more and lead more. Women who also sometimes doubt whether they can.
BUT HERE’S THE DEAL: We women cannot achieve what we’re capable of doing by staying safe in our comfort zone. The common thread that binds the most powerful women is their willingness to take risks, to speak up and to take action in the presence of doubt and uncertainty, rather than stick to a safer path.
I have met many “self-help gurus” over the years. Only a few have lived up to their marketing or my expectations. On Saturday however I got to spend the day with a man whose words inspired me to travel a new path in my own work and life – Dr Wayne Dyer. By the time he hobbled off the stage I was left with no doubt that he is truly a man driven by a deep desire to give, and not by a need to be glorified. HIs way of being spoke even more powerfully than his words of wisdom. Which begs the question: how does your ‘way of being affect’ those around you? It speaks more loudly than our words ever can.
