“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." Nelson Mandela One of the many things I’ve learned over the years, whether from the adversities I’ve faced or the challenges I’ve taken on,...
We are all prejudice is some way. Every single one of us. All of us hold conscious and unconscious beliefs about other people - particularly those who are different from us in some way. Different heritage or ethnic background Different social class Different religion...
Sometimes you’ve just got to say YES! and then figure out how to make it work! I was recently invited to spend five days with Sir Richard Branson and 25 women leaders on Necker Island, his private island in the Caribbean engaging in big conversations about how we can...
Nothing stifles our success more than the pressure we put on ourselves to do things perfectly, and to avoid the possibility of falling short in the attempt. I've spent the last few months immersed in words while writing my next book Train the Brave (due out next...
Saying yes is easier (at least in the short term) than saying no. It gives us an immediate hit of people-pleasing gratification. If it were easy to say no when we need to, everyone would be doing it. If it were easy to say no, there wouldn’t be so many busy people so dissatisfied with their lives. But whether in our work, relationships or how we manage our daily lives, sometimes we are called to make a change, to let go the familiar, and say no to something that is “good” to open up the possibility for something better.
The World Cup holds many lessons on creating a game-winning strategy beyond the soccer field. One of the most important is the difference between playing to win, versus playing to not lose. When you are playing to win your energy is channeled into creating new opportunities, breaking new ground, and going after what you want to happen versus protecting what you don’t want to lose. Playing to lose, on the other hand, is about shoring up what you already have. While it may feel like the safer path, it often leaves people and organisations being left behind in a world marching steadily forward.
Hate your job? While it’s unrealistic to expect to always love what you do, it’s not unrealistic to genuinely enjoy your work (most days). Given you spend a third of your adult life at work, it would be a shame to spend it doing work you hate, or to simply hate going to work. So if you don’t like your job the solution is simple: Either change WHAT you do or change HOW you do it.
Over the last two days I’ve had the opportunity to speak at two leadership conferences. After each event I had the chance to speak with attendees who shared their challenges, their aspirations and anxieties. One of the common threads that wove through our conversations was about their self-confidence. One particular person asked me how I’d become such a confident presenter and if I had any tips. As I shared with her…
I don’t know what it is you’d really love to create or achieve or change or pursue. However I do know this – waiting until you have everything figured out before you start out is a recipe for missed opportunity, frustration, resentment and regret.
Like Sandberg, since as young as I can remember I was called bossy. As a big sister of seven, I was forever telling (i.e. assertively coaching) my siblings what they needed to do, and not letting them off the hook until they did it (i.e. managing accountability.) Then as one of only fifteen students in a small rural Australian school, my assertive streak only grew stronger. Those who knew me could count on me to take charge. When they called me bossy, it felt more like a compliment than criticism.
We all have our default style and approach of getting things done, solving problems and adapting to new circumstances. Responding with flexibility and agility in our rapidly changing world requires an ongoing trade-off between your naturally preferred way of responding to a challenge and a way that isn’t as easy or comfortable. For every strength you possess, there’s an opposite strength or trait that balances it out. But if you always approach your problems and challenges in the same default way, you won’t always approach them in the best way.” Sometimes you will respond to them outright ineffectively. Agility and flexibility is the name of the game.
We live in an age of uber distraction. In fact I believe that after fear, it’s a lack of focus that gets in the way of people accomplishing what they are capable of over the course of a day, a week, a year or a whole lifetime. I mean, just imagine what you could do if you weren’t constantly distracted from the task at hand? A lot!!
As the world mourns the passing of Nelson Mandela and honors the extraordinary legacy of his extraordinary life, the message that it shared – of courage, resilience, forgiveness and commitment to a cause bigger than oneself – has no less relevance for each of us today than it had during the height of the apartheid era.
While research has found that women have an edge over men when it comes to expressing their emotions and perceiving the emotions in those around them, men are better at compartmentalizing emotions so an upset in one area doesn’t spill over into other areas. However, regardless of your gender or how well you have managed your emotions in the past, the good news is that you are never too old (or too young) to build your emotional intelligence. In fact, it’s one of the few things that actually improves with age!
The quality of our relationships is built on the quality of the conversations we have in them. Too often though we play safe and avoid the possibility of an awkward conversation — too raw, too difficult, too sensitive, too risky, too uncomfortable, too much effort. As a result we stick with a status quo we aren’t really happy about. Sometimes for decades. And all because we’re afraid. But at what cost? Here are 7 keys to speaking up about the issues that are weighing you down and holding you back.
The old adage “It’s not what you know, but who you know” no longer holds true. Nowadays, it’s not what you know, nor who you know – it’s who knows what you know.” Tooting your horn is about strategically building your ‘personal brand’ to ensure that those who can help you accomplish more in your career, know not just who you are, but the value you have (and want) to contribute. Failing to toot your horn – with the right people, in the right way, and at the right time – doesn’t serve anyone.
I realized this morning that I cannot let this month slip by without acknowledging the milestone that it represents. You see it was ten years ago, in August 2003, while I was living in Coppell (Dallas) Texas, when I officially began my second career and hung out the shingle out as an “executive life coach.”
It was a month before the phone rang. Two months before I had my first client.
I have to confess, I excel at going fast. I’m not so good at slowing down (except from exhaustion at day’s end). In fact, I find sitting still and being silent much harder than running around like a blue-ass fly. But as I have to remind myself time and time again, How does all my busy ‘doing’ undermine who I am ‘being’? If in my haste to pack as much as I can into a day I am not present to my gorgeous kids, or not really listening to my husband as he shares his day, then it comes back to the question “Busy for the sake of what?”
While speaking at a conference in Shanghai recently, I got to meet many women from around the globe. Smart women. Hard-working women. Women aspiring to do more, be more and lead more. Women who also sometimes doubt whether they can.
BUT HERE’S THE DEAL: We women cannot achieve what we’re capable of doing by staying safe in our comfort zone. The common thread that binds the most powerful women is their willingness to take risks, to speak up and to take action in the presence of doubt and uncertainty, rather than stick to a safer path.
Resilience is crucial to our success in the bigger game of life. Not only does resilience help us to cope better with major crisis and traumatic experiences, but it helps us cope better with the smaller, more mundane, events and circumstances that often take the biggest toll on our health and happiness on a daily basis.
