Build Resilience

Could you be misdiagnosing your problems? (Hint: If they keep recurring,you probably are!)

You can’t treat a problem properly unless you’ve diagnosed it properly. What lies at the heart of so many of the big problems we are facing around the world, and the smaller (though no less significant ones) we face in our own lives is our insistence that we are right and others are wrong. We are so busy insisting that we have the answer, we fail to accurately diagnose the root cause of what’s wrong, prescribe the wrong treatment, and then only perpetuate the problem.

Over-committed? Three questions to ask before saying yes.

Make sure that what you commit to aligns with what you are most committed too. When it does, then balance naturally sorts itself out.
Only when you are really clear about what it is that you most want to fit into your life, will you be able to find the clarity, confidence and guilt-free courage to say no to the many requests, invitations and opportunities that come your way.

Motivation Running Low? Maintaining it for the long haul climb toward your goals.

The difference between those who succeed and those who don’t isn’t their talent or brilliance, luck or lack thereof. It’s their ability to stay in action when the going gets tough, motivation wanes and the path of least resistance grows more and more alluring. Successful people do things others don’t. Will you? Here are six keys to keeping your motivation when the option of throwing in the towel seems increasingly attractive.

Disappointment: Why you should never let one go to waste.

Sometimes disappointment can hit with an intensity that can knock us down hard. When it does, we have to take the time to look for the gift our disappointment holds, and to be sure we unwrap it. Doing so sets us up to succeed in the game of life that much more.

“Faster, Higher, Stronger!” The Olympics challenge us all to raise the bar.

“Faster – Higher – Stronger.” As you sit back in your living room marvelling at the athletic brilliance of those in London in the days ahead, take a moment to think about what it is that you are willing to work toward that will inspire you to dig deeper, work harder, and excel. Not for a Gold Medal, for glory or wealth. But simply because it is a goal worth pursuing; a goal that honours the best of what you have to bring to the world, regardless of how fast you can run, how high you can jump, or how strong you can lift.

Trusting gut instinct. Does fear cloud your better judgement?

What gets in the way of benefiting from our intuition with people is our fear of what will happen if we listen to it. Sometimes we have so much invested in the status quo we avoid anything that threatens it, giving people the benefit of the doubt far too long. We fear the reaction of others if we question their integrity – whether it be causing them offence or an outright confrontation. More often, we fear how our own life will be impacted if our suspicions are proven correct. Tuning in to our intuition takes courage because it requires that we risk losing something we want and facing a reality we don’t. Humiliation. Being alone. Legal action. Ugly press. Others judgments. Social ostracism. Loss of money, of face, of friendship, and of the identity we had of ourselves and whoever violated our trust.

“The Official Body”: The Profound Cost of Conformity

The term “Desperate Housewives Syndrome” was recently coined to describe the rise of women 35 plus (I refuse to call women my age, middle aged!) seeking treatment for eating disorders like bulimia and anorexia. Frankly it’s a banal term for a serious phenomenon. And it’s one I know something about. As a woman in my forties, I also know how much pressure there is to look good. While I don’t watch Desperate Housewives or any shows of similar ilk (life’s too short), I’m still constantly bombarded with images of women my age and older who are looking smokin’ hot. The images being flashed in front of us aren’t of normal women. While 25 years ago the average model/beauty queen weighed 8% less than the rest of us, today they weight 23% less. Trying to look like them is a Mission Impossible… at least for the vast (95%) majority of us. While we women seem wired to compare ourselves with others, trying to conform to the idealised, illusive and “Official Body Type” comes at a profound cost. Only when we refuse to buy into somebody else’s definition of beauty, and own the innate beauty we were born with, can we ever be truly emancipated. After all, who really get’s to say whether your love handles are loveable?
You do.

I.Q. Matters. But Your E.Q. Matters More.

How often have you come across a supposedly super smart person – often with multiple letters after their name, and a big title on their business card – who did really dumb things? And why is it that those we thought most likely to succeed, so often nose dived in their careers, when they had to start managing with other people? The reality is that our EQ (Emotional Intelligence) determines our success in our workplace, our relationships and life far more profoundly than our ability to computer mathematical equations. And the good news is that unlike your IQ which is relatively fixed, your EQ is something you can build as you age.

Bouncing Back from Job Loss… Faster, Wiser & Better Off

How successful people are in finding new work after losing their job depends largely on their ability to bounce back from losing their job. That doesn’t mean that they don’t feel upset, hurt, resentful or any of the negative emotions that accompany job loss, but they don’t let those emotions consume them. Rather they focus on what they can do, versus what they can’t.

Need to cut yourself some slack? Staying upright when life throws you off balance.

It’s easy to feel off balance when the ground beneath your feet shifts. Or in my case, when you move to the other side of the globe. As human beings we long for connection. We love to feel significant to those around us. We enjoy having a shared history with friends. We are wired to feel a sense of belonging and to be surrounded by people who value what we do and celebrate where we’ve come from. So when we relocate to somewhere new, whether it be a new town a hundred miles down the road, or another country, it’s only natural to feel unsettled, to grieve the familiarity, community and identity we’ve left behind, and to feel a degree of apprehension about our ability to rebuild it all again.

Moving to Australia… Changes Abound!

When the ground beneath our feet shifts, as it is for me right now, it’s only reasonable that we feel a bit unstable. How can our world tilt on its axis without us tilting a bit with it?

A time for Audacity, not Austerity… and some Tall Poppy Courage!

The new year has begun precariously for many. We hear a lot at the moment about the austerity measures that individuals and entire countries around the world must take to get their financial house back in order. But more than we need austerity, we need audacity… and some ‘Tall Poppy’ Courage!

“New Year, New… Hemisphere!”

While my business is very much US based (which why I will be back here regularly!), I have long thought of myself as a Global Citizen. Yes, I’m Australian by birth, passport and accent. But borders are easier to cross the ever, air miles easier to accrue, and people easier to connect with than any time in human history.
I have also long held (or, perhaps more accurately, been held by) a strong sense of purpose to use my time and talents to empower people and organizations globally to live and lead with greater courage. Given the state of the world today – and the climate of uncertainty, economic insecurity and political instability – courage is more needed than ever. Today more than ever we have to be discerning between those fears that serve us and those which stifle. Today more than ever we must refuse to buy into dogma that drives us to create barriers rather than bridges. Today more than ever we have to refuse to think small, play safe and settle for less than that which honors who we are and the potential of who we can become.

Do you need to trade some of your answers for questions?

Every time I turn on the TV at the moment I hear fighting about how best to get the US economy back on track. Needless to say, I do not have the answer to that problem. But what I've noticed more and more is how steadfast people are in their refusal to ask more...

Do the holidays really need to be so stressful? Press “Pause”

Thanksgiving, and the festive season it kicks off, can be a very stressful time for many people. The Martha Stewart-like images of happy families, dressed in the lastest holiday fashion, sitting around a decadently decorated table feasting joyfully on gourmet delights, create expectations that can never measure up to reality. Then again, can reality ever measure up to glossy magazine covers? The impact it can have is to leave people feeling like something is missing from their lives. Here’s 5 strategies to help you enjoy more and stress less this turkey-leg season.

“Working hard at work worth doing.” Are you?

It is only human to feel sharp disappointment when we don’t achieve something we have worked hard toward. But our hard work and effort is never wasted. It truly is one of life’s deep joys to “work hard at work worth doing.” And working hard toward something that fills you with purpose and passion is always work worth doing – whether it be raising your family, fulfilling a long held dream, building a business that fulfills an unmet need or, writing a book to change lives.

If your life were a sermon, what would it say?

Last Sunday I attended a beautiful funeral that paid tribute to a wonderful man. What it made me realize is that it’s not how we die that matters so much, but how much love, courage and compassion we bring to the experience of living.

9/11 Remembered… a Profound Lesson in Courage

Our lives have all moved on in the last ten years. Events beyond our control have shaped us in ways we would never have known or predicted. Today you will likely find yourself watching replays of the images from today ten years ago. As you reflect on how you felt that day, and on the courage you saw in the brave men and women, New York fireman front and center, who risked and gave their lives to save others that day, I invite you to reconnect to with your own courage and to commit to risking greater vulnerability so that you can live your life more fully and honor the many lives of those who lost theirs that day, ten years ago today.

Choosing courage in fearful times

From oppression in Syria to famine in Somalia, from the UK riots to the US Credit Rating, from high unemployment to low housing prices to drawn out wars claiming the lives of the finest of young men and women - there's no doubt about it, we are living in...

How powerful are you? Become Your Own Super Hero.

It is my deepest belief that we are all — and yes, that includes you — powerful beyond measure. That within you lies the resources to create positive change and accomplish extra-ordinary things. But it will require reclaiming the power you give your doubts and fears and becoming your own super hero. The thing that keeps most people stuck aren’t their circumstances or the villians in their life; but their lack of belief in their own personal power.

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