Speak Bravely

Trusting gut instinct. Does fear cloud your better judgement?

What gets in the way of benefiting from our intuition with people is our fear of what will happen if we listen to it. Sometimes we have so much invested in the status quo we avoid anything that threatens it, giving people the benefit of the doubt far too long. We fear the reaction of others if we question their integrity – whether it be causing them offence or an outright confrontation. More often, we fear how our own life will be impacted if our suspicions are proven correct. Tuning in to our intuition takes courage because it requires that we risk losing something we want and facing a reality we don’t. Humiliation. Being alone. Legal action. Ugly press. Others judgments. Social ostracism. Loss of money, of face, of friendship, and of the identity we had of ourselves and whoever violated our trust.

I.Q. Matters. But Your E.Q. Matters More.

How often have you come across a supposedly super smart person – often with multiple letters after their name, and a big title on their business card – who did really dumb things? And why is it that those we thought most likely to succeed, so often nose dived in their careers, when they had to start managing with other people? The reality is that our EQ (Emotional Intelligence) determines our success in our workplace, our relationships and life far more profoundly than our ability to computer mathematical equations. And the good news is that unlike your IQ which is relatively fixed, your EQ is something you can build as you age.

Connected, alone. Is technology making you lonely?

As social media reshapes our social life, we have to rethink what we want from our relationships, and realize that quantity doesn’t equal quality, and that there’s a profound difference between an online social network and a real one. Despite the fact there will always be someone, somewhere awake to “like” our latest status update – however witty or otherwise. Press Like if you agree.
Recent studies have found that despite being more connected than ever, more people feel more alone than ever. Surprisingly, those who report feeling most alone, are those you’d expect it from least: young people who conduct much of their life through social media. The correlation between how much time people spend connecting on the internet or digitally – whether by SMS, facebook, or otherwise – and how lonely they feel is evidence of this. Press “Like” if you agree.

Why You Must Risk Vulnerability.

Courage has many faces, so what it means for one person to be courageous is very different for another. But at the core of courage is a willingness to become vulnerable. Vulnerable to rejection, criticism, failing, social humiliation, to messing up, falling short of the mark or simply to the disappointment that comes when we don’t achieve what we set out toward.
Around the globe today millions of people live in abject poverty. Around the globe today, yes TODAY, thousands of young women are forced into the sex trade. Around the globe today countless babies are aborted because their mothers don’t want them. Around the globe today people are mourning the loss of those they love to war, to disease and to malnutrition. Around the globe today, but particularly in the wealthy developed corners of the western world, people are taking their lives, because they have given up hope that life will ever offer anything for them to make it worth living. Without courageous action on the part of those who can influence change, nothing will.

Do you need to trade some of your answers for questions?

Every time I turn on the TV at the moment I hear fighting about how best to get the US economy back on track. Needless to say, I do not have the answer to that problem. But what I've noticed more and more is how steadfast people are in their refusal to ask more...

Do the holidays really need to be so stressful? Press “Pause”

Thanksgiving, and the festive season it kicks off, can be a very stressful time for many people. The Martha Stewart-like images of happy families, dressed in the lastest holiday fashion, sitting around a decadently decorated table feasting joyfully on gourmet delights, create expectations that can never measure up to reality. Then again, can reality ever measure up to glossy magazine covers? The impact it can have is to leave people feeling like something is missing from their lives. Here’s 5 strategies to help you enjoy more and stress less this turkey-leg season.

Sex, Power, Courage: Combatting Sexual Harassment & Abuse

Whether it’s being sexually harassed by a person at work in an authority position relative to us, or to being bullied by a colleague of the same gender, we have a role to play in how a relationship unfolds. Or doesn’t. We need to be clear in setting firm boundaries when the need arises and, when our warnings go unheeded, courageous in speaking up and raising the issues with people in authority who can intervene to address it. We must also be mindful about what we may implicitly be communicating around what we will and will not tolerate. Too often victims of sexual harassment have become such because they have not had the courage to say “Cut it out!”. Before we become a victim to anyone else, we are first a victim to our own fear. Whether it be fear of rocking the boat, being judged harshly or damaging career opportunities.

Women in Leadership: Are we confining ourselves to a “Glass Cage”?

As women harness their own personal power, their potential to affect change in the world is vast. But harnessing the full quota of our power will demand a commitment to stepping courageously through the glass cage of beliefs, doubts and fears that may be limiting our leadership potential and impact.

Choosing courage in fearful times

From oppression in Syria to famine in Somalia, from the UK riots to the US Credit Rating, from high unemployment to low housing prices to drawn out wars claiming the lives of the finest of young men and women - there's no doubt about it, we are living in...

Do you allow yourself to be intimidated?

Too ofte we make false assumptions of what others are thinking, projecting on to them our insecurities and fears. I’ve seen many people held back in their careers because they are afraid to approach or engage with people more senior to them, for no other reason than they are initimidated by their rank or status. We bring prejudices and false beliefs into our interactions with people (based on everything from the color of their skin or where they went to school, to the title on their business card) that alienate us from them and prevents us from building a relationship with them. Living with assumptions that others “are better than us”, that “they haven’t got time for the likes of us” or that “I’m just not good enough” can be very costly – to our careers, our relationships and our happiness over all.

Forgiveness: Is holding on to anger holding you back?

I’m sure that you have experienced people who haven’t always been reasonable or rational to deal with; people who can be quick to judge and slow to forgive. Even worse, people who have acted maliciously toward you or left you feeling betrayed. And perhaps, like my...

Want to build more trust in your relationships?

Emerson once wrote, “distrust is very expensive.” The fact is, without trust, influence wanes, intimacy erodes, relationships crumble, careers derail, organizations fail to prosper (and ultimately, also crumble) and, in short, nothing much works. Wherever trust is missing, opportunity is lost — opportunity to prosper, to exert influence, to deepen intimacy, to enjoy harmony, to collaborate, to foster understanding, to succeed at the very things that matter to you.

The single biggest factor that holds people back…

Two weeks ago I said yes to a morning at trapeze school. Naively as it turned out. It was absolutely terrifying! But I jumped anyway. Five times in all. And while I wouldn't race back to do it again, I'm glad I did it. Because hanging upside down 23 feet above the...

Letting our kids (family & friends) walk their own path

Last Sunday my oldest child Lachlan became a teenager. Born on February 13th… just one day short of the “Day of Love.” But I was two weeks overdue, with a belly about to burst, and when the doctor asked if I wanted to wait one a day longer so he could be born on...

Does Fear Cloud Your Intuition? The 5 Gut Instincts You Should Never Ignore

A quirky urge. A quiet murmur in your head. A queasy feeling in your gut. A subtle sense of foreboding. A subtle sense of foreboding or a profound yet explicable knowing that "this feels right". That was the feeling I had soon after I began going out with my husband...

Burning the Qu’ran: Why righteousness drives people to act like idiots.

You’ve probably heard the furor about the fanatical Florida pastor who wants to burn copies of the Quran to mark the anniversary of 9/11. No wonder he’s only drawn 50 members to join his church. Thankfully most people are too intelligent to listen to this...

Get What You Want: 6 Tips To Make Bold Requests

You will rarely, if ever, be given more than what you have the courage to ask for.

Lessons from the BP Oil Spill

You’d have to be living in a cave the last month not to be aware of the growing environmental disaster caused by an explosion on a BP oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico. Having a long-held fondness for the company that gave me my first "real job" as a Graduate Trainee in...

Embracing Sorrow So We Can Savor Joy

Forgive me if this post is a little raw. Life has been raw for me these last couple weeks. My youngest brother Peter (above, with my kids) died just over two weeks ago and I've been living life at its rawest ever since. Pete, who was 31, suffered from schizophrenia...

How to Keep Your Cool When Anger Takes Over

I recently read that 60% of Americans lose their temper at least once per week. I’d like to tell you I wasn’t in that number but alas, my kids would tell you otherwise. Of course losing our temper is what happens when we fail to keep our anger in check. Something (or...

« Older Entries

Next Entries »

Whether you want to make a change, grow your leadership, or better the world, The Courage Gap is your roadmap to close the gap between who you are and who you’re meant to be.

LEARN MORE

If you ever wish you felt braver, this podcast is for you. You’ll gain inspiration from a host of incredible leaders. I also share my own insights on how to be a bit braver in our relationships, leadership, and life.

LISTEN TO EPISODES

Pre-Order Margie’s Latest Book The Courage Gap