Change is never easy, even change for the better. It’s why so many people choose to stay in jobs they loathe, in relationships that chip away at their self-confidence or sticking to habits that rob years from their life, rather than embrace the uneasiness, uncertainty...
After a whirlwind book/speaking tour of the USA, it’s great to be home in Australia and over my jet-lag (sort of). As busy as my trip was, it was incredibly rewarding speak at the United Nations Foundation and at several other events including my first ever trip to...
I’ve made it a focus of my life to teach others how to be braver. Courage and bravery aren’t fixed qualities about yourself that can’t be changed. Much like building muscle, you can learn to have more courage and build your “bravery muscles.” Just imagine in your own...
Last night I tried to bake some traditional Aussie ANZAC biscuits (a.k.a. ‘cookies’) only to get distracted on email (again) and burning them (again). Needless to say, my kids could give you a long list of my shortcomings as a mother and my failings as a domestic...
It’s five years today since my brother Peter died. Five years of life he never got to live. Five years of milestones and experiencing the many things that make life worth living. And for those of us he left behind, five years of sitting with our sadness and coming to...
It's Christmas time again. As my years on earth grow, so too do they seem to pass faster. As a child, it seemed to be an eternity between each birthday or Christmas and yet now, they roll around with a swiftness that makes me realize how quickly life is passing....
Growing up my dad would often jokingly call me ‘bumble foot.’ By high school I had labeled myself as a bona-fide “non-athlete” and during school athletic carnivals, would only enter the walking race, too intimidated by the ‘real’ athletes to line up against them in...
It’s Thanksgiving week, at least for all US readers, so I thought I’d pen a few thoughts on gratitude to mark this special holiday. My dad often says he feels like the richest man in the world. It always makes me smile because, having been a dairy farmer his entire...
There’s no doubt that the Ebola virus is deadly. It has buried thousands of helpless victims in the western region of Africa and challenged the world’s best health specialists in how best to contain its spread. News of the tragic death of the first US Ebola victim,...
So early this morning I kissed my sixteen-year-old son Lachlan goodbye. He has left our nest; he has spread his wings. Despite steeling myself for months for this moment, it didn’t lessen the wrench on my heart as I waved him goodbye. I am not worried about Lachlan...
What you focus sets off a ripple effect that filters into every corner of your life. It’s not about white-washing those things which need your attention. It’s about not wasting your precious energy focused on things that amplify negative emotions, smother positive ones and fuel your misery.
Perhaps your Facebook status updates reflect what’s really going on in your life. However if not, then I encourage you to be more courageous in connecting with those around you, dropping your guard, letting go the need to show you’ve got it all together, and sharing how you really are (i.e., the stuff you might never post on Facebook). While our fears drive us to avoid situations that put us at risk of rejection or ridicule or criticism, only when we have the courage to do just that can we forge the rich, and incredibly rewarding relationships that help to buoy us over life’s bigger waves, and retain our sense of humour as we go.
We all like to be liked. Nothing wrong with that. But too often we let what OTHERS think matter more than what WE think. Next time you find yourself at a moment of indecision, ask yourself what you would do if you had didn’t need to impress or be liked; if you were being really courageous.
I remember four years ago today trying to call Peter on his 31st birthday. I was at home in Virginia. He was in a psychiatric hospital in Sydney half a world away. I remember when I finally got through to his ward and a fellow inpatient got him to come to the phone saying Happy Birthday Pete. As the words came out of my mouth I knew there was very little happy about it. This wasn’t the first birthday Peter had spent in a psychiatric ward. He woke up on his 21st birthday in a psych hospital ten years earlier.
We all have our default style and approach of getting things done, solving problems and adapting to new circumstances. Responding with flexibility and agility in our rapidly changing world requires an ongoing trade-off between your naturally preferred way of responding to a challenge and a way that isn’t as easy or comfortable. For every strength you possess, there’s an opposite strength or trait that balances it out. But if you always approach your problems and challenges in the same default way, you won’t always approach them in the best way.” Sometimes you will respond to them outright ineffectively. Agility and flexibility is the name of the game.
Of course I also want you to have a happy year ahead also. But we human beings live along a spectrum of emotions as diverse as all the shades in a rainbow. To wish only to feel ‘happy’ would be to deprive us of the full human experience, living only on a very superficial level, and unable to infuse the tapestry of our lives with the contrasts of human experience that make it truly meaningful. – See more at: https://margiewarrell.com/?p=7812&preview=true#sthash.4yG4VKvn.dpuf
Relatives push our buttons because they created our buttons. So while you may love them, but you might not always like them, and expecting that you should always get along like the Waltons can set you up for extra anguish. What matters more than anything else is not how they behave, but how you respond. And while hurts and animosities can run very deep, if you’re willing to do the work, you can always learn to respond in constructive ways.
While I realise you may have very different plans over the festive season, I hope you will also make time to stop all your busy-ness, turn off your gadgets and have some genuine ‘play time.’ It’s so easy to get so caught up in the seriousness of life that we forget to simply have fun. Yet unleashing our ‘inner child,’ letting our hair down and just having fun is such an important part of living well.
I was recently interviewed for an article in a magazine via email. I know my answers will be edited down to fit their word count but thought you might enjoy reading through this short Q&A about courage in an increasingly time-poor world. How do you define...
While research has found that women have an edge over men when it comes to expressing their emotions and perceiving the emotions in those around them, men are better at compartmentalizing emotions so an upset in one area doesn’t spill over into other areas. However, regardless of your gender or how well you have managed your emotions in the past, the good news is that you are never too old (or too young) to build your emotional intelligence. In fact, it’s one of the few things that actually improves with age!
