First we make our habits, and then our habits make us.
Every morning I start my day with a big cup of Earl Grey tea, milk and two sugars. It’s become a well-worn ritual that dates back to my days in high school. And while it may not be the most ideal kick-start to my day, it works for me.
So too does my habit of pouring myself a glass of wine most evenings around dinner time. It may not be the most ideal wind-down routine to my day but again, it works for me.
There’s nothing really wrong or right about either of these habits. They are, after all, just habits.
But it’s amazing how our habits can sneak up on us. And unsettling how easily we can fall victim to habits that we would never consciously choose to have. Like my other habit of checking my Blackberry too often. Yes, even at traffic lights. Only red ones 😉 These default patterns of behavior, repeated again and again, form a well-worn groove. And by the time we’ve realized they have taken residence in our lives, they can be like a squatter in an abandoned building. Obstinate about moving on out.
While it’s one of life’s cruelties that bad habits are easier to acquire and harder to ditch than good ones, it’s fallacy to think that you can’t change your habits. Of course it might be really difficult to quit smoking, running habitually late, pressing your foot too hard on the accelerator, drinking too much caffeine, pressing the snooze button until the last possible moment or finishing other people’s sentences, but that doesn’t mean you can’t. Research tells us that our brains are pliable and that we can develop new ways of thinking and behaving right up to the end of our lives. This innate neuro-plasticity means that you are never too old to change old habits. Believing that you can do that is the first, and most crucial, step in the process. (For more on neural-plasticity I highly recommend The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science (James H. Silberman Books)by Dr. Norman Doidge)
Think about the most successful people around you and you will find they are generally very intentional about what they do (and don’t do) and very thoughtful about why they do it. They know that who they are is what they repeatedly do. Of course, that’s not to say they mightn’t have acquired some ‘not-so-good’ habits but that they have even more great ones. To quote Benjamin Franklin: “Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones.” Certainly those people I admire most have well-entrenched habits (practices and rituals) that help keep them mentally focused, emotionally resilient, physically fit and spiritually centered. [Read more…]