The tragedy of so many innocent lives lost so brutally last Friday in Newtown Connecticut has dimmed the festive spirit for many people this week. Trying to comprehend the mind of someone who could commit such a barbaric act is impossible. Trying to imagine the raw heartache of the families affected is equally so.
Yet in the midst of tragedy, we are all called to hold firm to hope. Hope that goodness will somehow emerge from even this most tragic and atrocious act. Hope that our society will pause long enough to reflect on the conditions that generate and enable such violence, and be brave enough to confront them. Hope that the WHY will be so great that our leaders and policy makers will commit to figuring out the HOW. And whatever your view on “The Right to bear arms,” I just hope that this tragedy will be the catalyst for even the most ardent Second Amendment advocates to ask themselves, “Yes, but at what cost?”
Of course this isn’t the only tragedy to make news in recent weeks and months. The air waves have been far too full of them. So full, that it’s easy to grow desensitized to the suffering of others, and guiltily grateful it isn’t us. Yet, life has taught me that when it is our turn to face a situation we would never have chosen, much less prepared for, that it always holds opportunities to experience our own humanity on levels, and in ways, we never otherwise would.
When my older brother Frank became a paraplegic four years ago I realised that sometimes even the most heartfelt prayers and determined efforts cannot repair a spinal cord. When my younger brother Peter took his life two and a half years ago after a long battle with schizophrenia, I realised that sometimes life is cruel and unfair, that some dreams can never be fulfilled and that sorrow is as central to the human experience as joy. We can not know one without being willing to feel the raw ache of the other.
If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know that earlier this year I relocated back to Australia with my husband and four children after over a decade living in the U.S. While this is hardly a hardship compared to what many, and has been wonderful in many ways, it’s not been easy. At times I’ve longed for the familiar faces of friends and feeling part of a community. I’ve missed people knowing me, my story, my family, my value. I’ve pined the missed opportunities as the tyranny of distance made seizing many of them too difficult on the home-front.
Yet, as I’m sure you have experienced yourself, it’s through those times when we cannot rest on what we have known, and must dig deep and press on, despite the challenges each day can bring, that we discover in ourselves strengths we didn’t know we had. Sometimes we just have to dig a bit deeper than others.
So as you look toward Christmas, or whatever traditions mark your life as this time of year, I invite you to give thanks for the hard times of the year gone by. It’s those dark times that add depth to the tapestry of our lives, and make the joyful times so much more precious.
Next year I will be sharing my new book Stop Playing Safe, which I was so grateful to be able to write amidst the challenges of my last year. As I wrote in it, we human beings are wired to over-estimate risks and under estimate our ability to handle them. In other words, YOU ARE CAPABLE OF MORE THAN YOU THINK! Whether in your career or business, in your family and friendships, or in any area of your life, I invite you to take a moment over the days ahead to ponder what it is you feel called to do in the year ahead that will honor the best of who you are and honor the difference you want to make in the world, despite the heartaches and hurdles life has brought your way.
Wishing you a truly holy festive season – a time for reflection, renewal and recommitting yourself to living a life that matters. And a little indulgence 😉
Margie, your comments are always so timely in my life and suspect everyone else's, as well. Thank you for the push to be more "courageous" and to "stop playing it safe". I have taken much of what you have written and spoken about (The Women's Center Leadership Conferences) and am stepping out with a new job for the new year! Blessings on your ministry and family during this wonderful season!
Hi Laura
Thanks for your note and kind feedback. I can't tell you how gratifying it is when people tell me that my words have made a difference in their lives.
Good luck in your new job this new year… remember courage begets courage.
A very Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to you, Margie and all your family~~~thank you ever so much for the encouraging words you send us. Blessings to you!
Thanks Lorna. A very Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to you also – I hope that whatever 2013 brings you way, you make the very most of the learning it provides.
Warm regards from a windy day in Melbourne
Margie
Margie – thank you for this insight. You are so right about this Newtown tragedy and I hope it propels all of us into some sort of action to help prevent this in the future whether it be just participating in a candlelight vigil or pursuing change on a political level or some other way. I am looking forward to reading the new book which I will order right now!!! Hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday
Kelley 🙂
Hi Kelley
Thanks for your note. More so, for ORDERING MY NEW BOOK!!! Thank you. I hope you get a lot from it.
Wishing you love and light this festive season.
Margie
Hi Kelley
Thanks for your note. More so, for ORDERING MY NEW BOOK!!! Thank you. I hope you get a lot from it.
Wishing you love and light this festive season.
Margie
Just like you, I have experience many disappointments and loses in the family area.
The good that came out of it is that after almost losing my daughter to alcohol, I joined Al-Anon, and now am trying to take care of self. I enrolled at college and working for the third time to complete my degree.
Your program starting me think about a college again, and when I interviewed for a job that person suggested to me to complete my degree. So I opened up to that dream again, and away I go! So in November, I took my first class since 1996.
So Thanks so Much for your transparency! I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Robbin
Thanks Robbin and good for you for going after your dream again.
Courage begets courage. I know 2013 will hold wonderful things in store for you as you reclaim your power to create a life you enjoy living.
Merry Christmas!
Margie, thank you for your insightful commentary on all that is going on in the world, but also for being so open and honest about all that is going on in your world.
You not only teach about courage, you model it. Thanks for your bravery. It always inspires me.
Ken
Dearest Margie, this one made me tear up. What you said about hardship and the depth it brings to our lives (if we let it) has been so true in my life and in my work. But mostly I felt a sense of how hard it must have been to leave the states. What you said about being in a new place where your presence, work and innate value are not known (yet) – well, it really hit the mark for me. I hear how difficult that must be and I imagine it is very mixed with seeing the blessings in the situation. I found myself battling similar themes over the past 2 years. I finally started practicing as a psychologist and loved it. Really loved it. And found a flow to the work and a joy in my practice that I hadn't expected. But then I got pregnant with Bo and left a life where I was competent, valued and supported for the life of a new mum. Familiar story for so many women. But it struck me that your experience of coming back to Australia sounded just like my experience of unexpected motherhood. I feel so blessed and I'm crazy about my son. And I miss the world where I'm known. Where I have expertise and value. I know you have gone through the experience of leaving the professional world to become a mum several times over. I just wanted to share my journey with motherhood in response to your changes this past year. I think I'm trying to say that I 'get' the place of feeling extremely lucky and enjoying life as it is right now and also recognising that change can be pretty darn hard. Exciting. Wonderful. Enriching. And hard.
Thanks for living so bravely. You have inspired so so so many people.
Including me.
Meg
Well said Maggie. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Margie,
Thank you for a truly wonderful and inspiring letter.
In all honesty this became a fantastic indepth write-up even so like all wonderful authors there are many details that could be worked well on. Yet by no means the significantly less it turned out intriguing.