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Yesterday morning Al Jazeera TV network called me to do a live studio interview in their D.C. studio, via satellite from their Qatar headquarters.  I jumped at it. Living in Washington D.C., and indeed America, has been packed with cool opportunities and new experiences. Life here has been nothing short of amazing. So choosing to change where I live isn’t all easy.

The packers arrive today. They will bring boxes, tape, paper…  lots of it.

In a few days my life as I know it will be packed away and loaded into a container bound for Australia.

I know moving back to Australia will be wonderful on many fronts. But there is something about the very nature of change that makes it difficult, even when it’s change we choose and change that holds much to look forward to.

The photo above is one that I took of a former village consumed by the sands of the Sahara Dessert in southern Algeria many years ago. It’s message: Nothing is permanent.

The fact is that all change, even change for the better, is hard. Sure as one chapter closes, another begins. But there’s something about the closing that brings up a sense of loss, grief even.

I’ve felt an abundance of mixed emotions since my husband and I decided to move back to Melbourne earlier last month.

None of them are bad. Though some haven’t felt so good.
I’ve felt sad at leaving so many friends whom I’ve grown to love so much.
I’ve felt anxious about choosing the right place to live, and getting my kids into great schools.
I’ve felt overwhelmed at the thousand things we’ve had to do to close down our life here and set it up there.
I’ve felt delighted about living close to the beach, and closer to my parents, brothers and sisters.
I’ve felt touched by the outpouring of love from our friends as they’ve shared how much they will miss us.
I’ve felt perplexed by the fact that some really cool opportunities in TV-land have come just as I’m getting ready to go.
I’ve felt scared that maybe I will never have life so good again.
And I’ve felt excited about the opportunities that I will create in Australia… opportunities I’ve yet had time to even imagine. Haven’t had the time! [...]

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Ask my kids and they will embarrassingly admit that I often burst into sporadic song.  And one of my all time favorites is Peter Allen’s “I still call Australia home.”  Well, next month, after ten years in the US, it will be again.

Yes, I’m moving!

Moving kids. Moving house. Moving state. Moving country. Moving hemisphere!

Down Under!

After a decade living and thriving and LOVING the USA, I’m heading back to my homeland, back to my ‘hometown’ of Melbourne. Closer to Grandpa’s farm, closer to cousins, closer to the beach!

Weeks after 9/11 when I moved with my husband and three very young children to Texas, I thought we’d be in the US for just a short time. Ten years (and one Texan – our 4th child) later I’ve become so at home in America that I feel like I’m leaving one home to move to another.  After all, I have only lived in Melbourne briefly since heading off to  live in Papua New Guinea 17 years ago.

I’m guessing you’re surprised.   Well let me tell you, so am I! [...]

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Margie On TrapezeTwo weeks ago I said yes to a morning at trapeze school. Naively as it turned out. It was absolutely terrifying! But I jumped anyway. Five times in all. And while I wouldn’t race back to do it again, I’m glad I did it.  Because hanging upside down 23 feet above the net (though if felt like 1,000 feet!), I knew I was well and truly alive. To me that is what life is ultimately all about – being willing to step (in this case jump) outside our comfort, push the envelope of possibility  and live in such a way that we know we are “well and truly alive”.

Many people I meet don’t feel “well and truly alive” in at least one area of their life. We human beings are really much more ‘human becomings’ than anything else… always in the process of becoming all that we really want to be – whether in our relationships, our career or business, to stay fit and eat well, to gain mastery of a skill, or to be as productive, generous or influential as we would like.

Earlier this week I asked my Facebook Courage Community what they believed is the #1 factor holding people back in work, love or life.  Most replies reflected what we generally know to be true, but are often loathe to admit:  that the biggest obstacle to our success and happiness is ourselves. And while it may present in different ways – laziness, procrastination, cynicism, arrogance, recklessness, apathy, despair – at its core is the primal emotion of fear. Fear of failure or looking foolish; fear of rejection and disapproval; fear of not measuring up, of being inadequate, alone or unloved.

Fear can trap us in lives of quiet desperation that leave us thirsty for purpose, hungry for depth and disconnected from the unique potential that lies within us.

While our fears can serve a positive role, they can also trap us in jobs, relationships, habits, and lives of quiet desperation that leave us thirsty for purpose, hungry for depth and disconnected from the unique potential that lies within us. A billion dollar industry of anti-anxiety and anti-depressant drugs speaks for itself. Indeed, countless people live their entire lives trapped in false beliefs, shrouded under a cloud of fear so pervasive that they are not even aware they are trapped… in their own life. Fear has become the new normal.

As someone who is intimately acquainted with the life-sucking force that fear can wield, I am convinced that [...]

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Last week I spoke to a group of people struggling to find work and stay optimistic in the face of ongoing job disappointments. When I came home that evening, I turned on the TV to watch Maria Shriver sharing her struggle with uncertainty about what lies ahead once she is no longer California’s First Lady. On the weekend I met a high school senior anxious about which college he’d get into next year and a woman uncertain about whether she would ever have children. Then yesterday I was speaking to a friend about the uncertainty she faces heading back into the work force after years at home raising children. It seems that people everywhere, across all socio-demographic groups, are struggling with uncertainty.

There’s no doubt about it, uncertainty can be uncomfortable. We enjoy the stability that comes from having continuity between our past and future, a future that is familiar, stable, controllable and predictable. We like to feel that we are masters of our own ship, in control of our fate, and so it’s entirely natural to find ourselves feeling a little out of sorts when our future becomes an unknown quantity.

Whether it’s change we are choosing, or change thrust upon us, when the ground beneath our feet starts to shift, we can’t help but feel a bit shaky. What lies ahead? How will it affect my life and family? What adjustments will I need to make? What if I can’t make them? What if I don’t want to make them?! What if… what if… what if…?

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Live, Love, Laugh

Published on 09 February 2010 by Margie Warrell in Stories

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Submitted by Judy 2/9/10

My story starts last Feb when an old friend from 35 years ago found me through my sister’s classmates site. We emailed for a few times then on Valentine’s Day he called for the first time.

Keith lived in S. Jersey and I here in Baltiimore. We finally met up May 16th last year when I drove up for the day. As I tell Keith, he had me from the first hug (as there was already pre-chemistry before we met).

As I said it had been 35 yrs since we had seen each other, so we had a lot of catching up to do.

I was recently divorced after a 28 year marraige and 7 kids. He had also been married and in another relationship that each produced a child.

Where my courage comes in is the rest of the story.

We spent the whole day together and decided to go forward with our relationship. Prior to meeting up again, I found out some things about Keith, he had been living a pretty “wild” life up to this time. He had spent time in prison and had been involved with drugs and alcohol for most of his life. [...]

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Last week whilst talking with someone about the economy, the possibility of them being laid off and how they thought it was a good time to take a change in career direction came up. As we talked about what they needed to do to make it a successful transition in a down-turned economy they said, “I just wish I knew that this was the right thing to do. It feels like the right thing to do but I just wish I knew for sure it wasn’t going to be a mistake.”

“Ahh, join the club” I thought. “Don’t we all?”

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When I was 23 I spent 6 weeks backpacking on my own around the Middle East. Three in Egypt, one in Jordan and two in Jerusalem and the surrounding occupied territories of the West Bank. Being on my own made it that much more extraordinary because I found myself being invited into homes and connecting with people in ways I don’t think I would have had I had a traveling companion. In Jerusalem I stayed in the Islamic Quarter of the old city for no other reason than it was the cheapest place to stay. But being mid-January (and a lot colder than I’d imagined it could be) it was certainly not the most comfortable as they had no central heating and lukewarm showers (on a good day). In short, I froze. The man who ran the hostel, Abu, was a strong PLO supporter who’d been jailed six times (the first at age 12 for six months without any reason) and expected to be jailed many more. His brother had been killed by Israeli soldiers. Needless to say he was an interesting character and he delighted in talking to travelers like myself who were eager to know about the Middle East beyond the headlines and 6 o’clock news.

On my second evening there Abu offered me directions to travel out to some of the local refugee camps by public bus. “That’s why I’m here!” I thought and next day headed off. Man, what an eye opening experience. I arrived at a camp just past Bethlehem and, as instructed, asked to be taken to the home of one of the older men living there (in that part of the world, hitting 40 makes you old). I don’t recall his name but I do recall him to be a very gentle, warm and welcoming man. Formerly a university lecturer he was now out of work (unable to get to his work each day due to the curfews and travel restrictions on Palestinians — they were not permitted passports) and, with five children, he and his family existed in the squalid camp, surrounded by razor wire with empty oil barrels barricading the roads exiting out of the camp and little hope on the horizon. He walked me around the camp, introducing me to many people and giving me an intense history lesson along the way. I recall him being very learned and also, surprisingly, not filled with vengeance but with sadness. The day passed quickly, so quickly in fact that I missed the 4pm curfew to leave. He and his wife invited me to stay in their small home overnight. I accepted (not that I had much alternative) and enjoyed an incredibly memorable evening experiencing the amazing generosity of Arab hospitality. I slept on a mat on the floor beside his five children. They were all so bright and beautiful and it saddened me how bleak their prospects were to gain a proper education and enjoy the prosperity and freedom to travel the world as I was doing at the time.

As I was leaving the next morning he asked me to go back to my country (then Australia) and write about what I saw. His only hope for the future was based on the belief that if more people like me knew about their plight they would act to help. He shared how the Palestinian people felt betrayed by the Western governments for allowing such injustice to occur and failing to hold the Israeli government accountable for violating the Geneva Convention by illegally occupying territory that was not their own. I promised him I would do that.

I didn’t. My life, with all its opportunities and new adventures, got in the way. . .

So here I am, 17 years later, and every time I turn on the TV, graphic images of wounded children, grieving mothers and dead bodies blaze across the screen. I think about how much has progressed in my life and how little has progressed in the lives of those I met in Israel 17 years ago. To call it a tragedy is just too cliché.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not a supporter of Hamas. Nor do i deny or belittle in any way the legitimacy of the grievances of the Jewish people living in Israel whom Hamas terrorizes. In fact I deplore Hamas’ terrorist acts, how they use innocent Palestinians as human shields. I also abhor the hatred they spread and violence they inflict on Israelis. But I am deeply sympathetic to the plight of the Palestinian people, most of whom have lived their entire lives in poverty and without the right to live freely in a land they have inhabited for countless generations. I’ve often heard people ask, “how could any mother be proud of sending a child off to be a suicide bomber?” when what we should be asking is, “what depth of hopelessness and despair would drive a mother to send a child to their death?”

As most of you know I’ve never stepped into politics, domestic or international. Until now. I once heard it said that the only thing that is required for evil to reign is for good people to stand by and do nothing. I guess that would be me. Of course I don’t have the answer to the problems that have plagued the Middle East. However right now all I see occurring is hatred being bred into a new generation of Palestinian children. In a pocket of the world so long ravaged by hatred, pride, revenge and violence, no peace will ever be found through more of the same.

I hope that one day leaders will emerge on both sides (at the same time!) who are willing to let go righteousness and to commit to creating a future that is distinct from the past. That, in a spirit of mutual respect, they will engage in conversations that honor one another’s legitimacy and right to live in freedom and prosperity. Only then will trust be rebuilt through actions taken and promises kept and will those who have suffered so much for so long (on both sides) be able to look toward the future with hope.

When will that day come? I don’t know. I do know that that with about 500 Palestinians killed since December 27th, it won’t be any day soon. What’s any of this got to do with you? While the conflict that’s currently ravaging the streets of Gaza may seem very remote to your daily life, I am sure that there are lessons to be learned from it that you could apply to any conflict, resentment or bitterness that exists in your relationships. As I’ve heard said many times, there will never be peace in the world until there is peace in our homes.

So I ask you:  where are you righteous in your stance about an issue? Where would you be served by taking time to better understand the opinion of those around you? Where do you fail to treat others with the dignity they deserve? Where are you more committed to being right, and having your way, than to enjoying harmony in your relationship with someone? How might you be able to build trust where it has been damaged? Think about it!

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My dear dad always says “A change is as good as a holiday.” Well not really but hey, it’s still good!

So anyway, last night I was talking with my sister Cath in Australia sharing what I’ve been up to of late. I happened to mention a workshop I ran for the Center for Association Leadership in Washington D.C. last week. How it was at the International Trade Center of Pennsylvania Avenue, just up the street from the White House. It was also on September 11th.

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