Learning to Trust Myself submitted by Christine: 10/19/09
Eighteen months ago I found myself stuck in an all-time low. My boyfriend of seven years announced that he no longer loved me and wanted to part ways. While I had sensed for a while he wasn’t happy, I had no idea he was that unhappy. It was a huge shock and left me feeling devastated, rejected and unlovable. The break-up was a great opportunity for me to really assess who I am, where I am and what I want from life. When it came down to being really honest with myself, I realized I hadn’t been happy in my marriage either. I just hadn’t had the guts to admit it. I also realized I wasn’t happy in my work and that there were many areas of my life where I’d been settling. It was around this time, a girlfriend gave me a copy of Margie’s book, Find Your Courage. It came at the perfect time (a year earlier and it would have sat on the shelf). Her words really struck home and I came to see how much my own fears and self-doubts had been running my life.
I’d married my husband because I was afraid that if I didn’t I might be alone. I stayed in my job because I was afraid if I left it, I wouldn’t get a better one. I stuck with my mediocre life, because I was afraid this was as good as it would get. I am so pleased to share that change is possible. Even for someone like me who has always loved security and loathed change. I have gone back to college part time, I have (in the midst of all the news of doom and gloom and job cutbacks) started a new job with a great company and I have met a wonderful guy (who does want to be with me!). The experience has restored my faith in the belief that we are our own biggest enemies and that by selling out on ourselves we bring a lot of unnecessary misery in to our lives. Of course I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that if I just trust in myself to handle the challenges as they come along, and refuse to settle for less than what really want, that I will continue to attract great people and opportunities into my life. Living with courage is not always easy, but it is always important and most of all, it is always possible.
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