Five Powerful Questions To End 2016 Strong

As we near the end of the year it’s easy to get so caught up in all that still needs to get done that we fail to look back on the year just gone – to acknowledge how far we’ve come and who we’ve become in the process.

I am sure you’ve done plenty this year. And I’m not just talking about what you’ve accomplished, I’m talking about what you’ve overcome… the challenges you’ve faced, the lessons you’ve learned and the setbacks you’ve bounced back from.

While I’m all about focusing forward, I encourage you to take a few minutes before the year is through to reflect on five powerful questions.  When I sat down to answer these questions myself I realized why I’m feeling so tired and ready for a break!  It’s been one busy year. (If you’re curious about what I wrote down, I’ve included my answers at the bottom of this post.)

To help you in your own reflection, I’ve created a worksheet for you that you can download here. 

1. What do I need to celebrate?

Many people get so caught focusing on what they haven’t done that they don’t pause very long to celebrate all they have. High achievers are the most guilty of this so if you’re one of them, write down your top achievements this year – your highlights, your wins (large and small) and all those things that you’re pleased you did or were fortunate enough to experience.

2. What do I need to acknowledge?

I’m sure not everything has gone to plan for you this year. No doubt you’ve had a few plans derail or people disappoint you. What do you need to acknowledge in yourself for how you’ve shown up and pressed on and been strong, kind, persistent, positive or brave even when you didn’t feel like it. Write down the top 10 ten things that come to mind and take a bow for having handled them as well as you did.

3. What story do I need to rewrite?

It’s not the events of our lives that determine our happiness, it’s the story we create about them.  If you’re holding on to a story about something that happened in 2016 that’s leaving you feeling resentful, guilty, angry, ashamed, rejected or powerless, I encourage you to rewrite it. Remember your stories trigger and amplify emotions (for better or worse) and expand or limit what is possible for you. Rewriting a story will that’s creating negativity will help to release the emotions that aren’t serving you and move toward better possibilities and braver actions in the year to come. Write down your new story.

4. Who do I need to thank?

There are people in your life this year who’ve made you a better person and helped you to step up and handle challenges better. Who are they? While you may have already thanked some of them for their support, perhaps there’s a few people who you haven’t. Imagine how they will feel getting a call or card from you to say how grateful you are to them.

Relationships are the currency of influence and the linchpin for success in your work, leadership and life. Be sure you invest in those which mean the most to you.

5. What new decisions will I make next year?

Your decisions hold power.  The very act of making a decision can change everything. Of course some of the decisions you’ve made this year have served you. Others? Not so much. The good news is that every day (not just on January 1st) you have the opportunity to make new decisions… ones that are not driven by what scares you but by what inspires you.

As you reflect back on the choices you made this year that didn’t serve you, identify one powerful decision you can make for the year to come that will set you on a whole new trajectory:

• What will you stop doing or start doing?
• What is a ritual you can incorporate into your day that will help you handle everything else better?
• What goal will you decide to pursue that is worthy of the risk of failure?
• What will you say No to so that you can say a big Yes to yourself?

Again, click here to download the worksheet with these five questions.

Your past doesn’t have to equal your future. Unless you live there. So as you reflect back on the year just gone, make sure you extract all the wisdom it holds so you can step powerfully, purposefully and courageously into the year ahead.

Until next time, remember that growth and comfort can’t ride the same horse. What you want most will always lie the other side of what scares you most.

MY ANSWERS… IF YOU’RE INTERESTED…

1. What do I need to celebrate?

• Doing my best to be a great mum to my four teenage kids, across two hemispheres and trying to be kinder to myself when I mess up and forget things.
• That all my kids, despite me not being totally on my game all the time, have all thrived… they’re all healthy and happy and growing into whole hearted and amazing human beings.
• Launching the Courage Academy, my first foray into online courses, producing my Courageous Conversations Masterclass program which I’m really proud of plus two shorter programs to help people have braver conversations.
• Venturing back into the publishing jungle and writing my fourth book Make Your Mark (which is still in final editing phase!)
• Putting my self-doubt to the side countless times and giving somewhere between 40 and 50 presentations across Australia and the USA, to well over 15,000 people.
• Being given my second ever standing ovation by 1,700 psychiatric nurses at the American APNA mental health nurses conference in Connecticut… which made me cry. It was a very very special moment that moved me deeply and reminded me why I do what I do and that good can come from the worse of tragedies.
• Exiting my comfort zone to host my own public events with my first Live Brave Women’s Weekend in May. It was such a positive experience I decided to fit in another before the year ended in hosting my second in November.
• I am hosting my first Live Brave Day in February… more time outside my comfort zone.
• All the travel I’ve done… like flying to the US four times and hitting the ground running with speeches, despite my jet lag.
• I interviewed some amazing people for RawCourage.TV including hotelier Bill Marriott, author Marianne Williamson and Kathy Calvin, President of the United Nations.
• Being appointed Australia’s first Ambassador to Women in Global Business.
• Landing back in Australia from my last trip to the US to host a four day conference with Business Chicks… more pressing through jet lag!
• Recording several interviews and advice segments for my Live Brave podcast and then shelved the podcast because I felt too stretched to do it properly.
• Being married 23 years… despite a lot of changes, hardships and uncertainty… and still loving Andrew as much as I did back in ’93 when we got hitched. #childbride
• Organizing a big family holiday to Africa where we all climbed Mt Kilimanjaro… the logistics and prep were more than I’d bargained on…. so was the mountain!
• Running a women’s workshop in Kibera Slum in Nairobi and sponsored two children to complete high school and university.
• Writing lots of articles and filming lots of short videos for Facebook Live… also outside my comfort zone.
• Taking my oldest two children on a college tour in the US… 12 colleges in 6 days… exhausting!
• Lecturing at Columbia University, one of the top universities in the world, and Deakin and Monash Universities in Australia.
• Having the honor of sharing the speaker stage with former Prime Minister John Howard.
• Being made an honoree of the Women’s Economic Forum.
• Hosting my youngest son’s year 7 parent social and joining the school parent rowing committee.
• Trying to be a good sister, daughter, friend, wife and mother.
• Meeting and/or spending more time with some people I hugely admire… like Tony Robbins, Brene Brown and Marianne Williamson.
• Getting an endorsement from Bear Grylls for my new book! Quite thrilled about that! 🙂

2. What do I need to acknowledge?

• That I’ve laid my vulnerability on the line many many times and risked failing and looking foolish, particularly in holding my Live Brave Women’s Weekends and now in hosting first Live Brave day next year. It would be easier, safer and far more comfortable (and even more lucrative) if I just stuck to corporate engagements… but that wouldn’t be brave.
• I’ve had to deal with the ongoing uncertainty of not knowing when my husband will be transferred with his employer and not knowing where we’ll be living in 12 months time. This has got harder as my kids have got older.

3. What story do I need to rewrite?

I’ve rewritten my stories throughout the year so none to rewrite here. I know I am the creator of my experience and that no one else has responsibility for my happiness except me!

4. Who do I need to thank?

• My husband Andrew. For his patience and ongoing support and always letting me bounce ideas from him.
• My Necker Island table dancers for cheering me on, particularly Jacinta McDonell and Emma Hogan.
• My friend Keri Day for inviting me into Marriott headquarters where I was given the honour of interviewing Mr Marriott in front of their head office employees. Such an honor.
• My in-laws Chris and Di Warrell for moving in to my home to ‘keep house’ a few times so I could head away (usually because Andrew was also away). And my mum.
• My sisters Anne and Cath for always celebrating every win. Loudly and generously.

5. What new decision will I make next year?

• To embrace the uncertainty and trust that whatever happens, it will all work out so long as I’m focused on serving the highest good… and that my kids will all be fine too… despite whatever changes lay in store for them.
• And one more for good measure… to make sure I never miss my morning rituals, no matter where I am or how tired I feel (particularly then!)