Margie Warrell

So often when I hear people complaining,  feeling upset about something (or someone!), or overwhelmed with all that they have on their plate, I can quickly spot a request that they could be making that they aren’t.  Asking someone to do something (or to stop doing something) can take courage because you put yourself at risk of rejection, disappointment, and hurt.  But unless you are willing to ask for what you really want, then you have no chance of getting it as I shared on my recent interview on Better TV. 

Here are 6 keys to making bigger and better requests. My request of you is that you actually step outside your comfort zone today and make a request… the worst thing that can happen is that you find yourself exactly where you started! Go on now… be courageous!

1. Don’t assume others are mind readers. We often assume our husbands, bosses, friends and even work colleagues are mind readers and when they don’t act as we’d like, we wind up resentful and upset. For any relationship to thrive both parties have to take responsibility for communicating their needs. Hints just don’t cut it. Whether it’s how you’d like your partner to engage in foreplay, or how you’d like your colleague to communicate with you about a project at work, it’s crucial to be assertive in conveying your wants and needs.

2. Be specific about what you want and when you want it. Asking someone to do something for you “when they get a chance” is a recipe for unmet expectations, frustration and hurt. For a request to hold any water it needs to specify not just what you’d like, but also the time frame in which you want it done. That is, a “what” and a “when.”  My beloved husband has learnt to do this very well, “Margie, when you borrow my car could you  at least please stop parking my car half way out of the garage?”  [...]

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You’d have to be living in a cave the last month not to be aware of the growing environmental disaster caused by an explosion on a BP oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico. Having a long-held fondness for the company that gave me my first “real job” as a Graduate Trainee in their Australian head office, I couldn’t help but feel some level of sympathy for my old colleagues who still work for BP. Having your company dragged through the mud in the media, even if it is for good reason, is not an enjoyable experience.

It’s been many years since I playfully fought my then-boyfriend (now husband), who worked for Mobil Oil, about which gas station we should fill up in (me claiming BP’s were far more attractive, him convinced that Mobil’s were better quality underneath the glam). It has also been many years since BP transformed those initials from British Petroleum into Beyond Petroleum… ah the irony.

Of course none of us are yet certain about the exact chain of events that culminated in the explosion in the Gulf of Mexico last month. What I am fairly certain of is that there was an absence of effective leadership, communication and accountability. I also think there are valuable lessons we can all take from this situation and apply in our own workplaces and relationships.

We humans share an instinctive desire for self-preservation and an innate aversion to situations that might be emotionally uncomfortable. In an organizational setting this can drive employees to “play safe” and avoid crucial conversations about [...]

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There are currently more Americans who have been unemployed for more than 6 months than any other time in U.S. history (6.1 million according to the latest figures). And while we hear reports that things are looking up for job seekers, we also have leading economists predicting that the job market may not improve much until 2012.

For those who have find themselves out of work, staying positive and proactive in their job hunt can be a lot easier said than done. Rejection after rejection can take a toll on self-confidence, and with that, the motivation needed to keep trying to find work.  But does being unemployed have to mean being miserable? Of course not.

Last week, I appeared on Let’s Talk Live here in D.C. to share some thoughts on how to stay positive when looking for work.

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If you’re out of work (or fear you may be soon), here are six strategies that will help you differentiate yourself from other job seekers, build your resume outside the workplace and land work despite the odds. [...]

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As you read the title of this post perhaps you were thinking “umm… I don’t know… could I?”. If that was the case for you then I want you to begin by thinking about something in your life that is not how you would like it to be right now: a person who is annoying you, a situation which is causing you to feel overwhelmed or frustrated or unappreciated, something you would like but aren’t getting. It doesn’t have to be something huge…  but it might be! The only criterion is that it’s something that isn’t the way you would ideally like it to be.

Now think about what specifically it is in regard to this “issue” that you would need to be different for you to feel better about it; or put another way, for there to be no issue at all.

Finally, ask yourself whether or not you have made a clear request to have this need fulfilled?

My experience is that often [...]

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Don’t get me wrong. I have no bone to pick with perfectionists; particularly not those who might find themselves operating on my heart, building my home or fixing my cars’ brakes. It goes without saying then that there are many situations in which is it extremely important to have things be perfect (or as close to it!). But it also needs to be said that there are many many situations in which it is not! The problem isn’t perfectionism per se; the problem is when we don’t discern between the two. When we fail to ask ourselves “does this really matter?” Our quest for perfection not only fails to serve us, often condemning us to a life of immaculate mediocrity,  but can be a disservice to those around us.

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Every successful entrepreneur needs a mix of different elements to achieve the success they seek. It’s important to have a good idea, an effective marketing strategy, good distribution, financial know-how, competitive pricing and the list goes on. If you have the funds to employ good consultants, financial advisors and manufacturing specialists you can outsource most of these things. However there is one thing that no aspiring entrepreneur can outsource and it is more important than anything and everything else — courage!

Courage is what distinguishes those who think about starting up their own business from those who actually do. The obstacle that stops most people from stepping into action to build the business they’d love to create is typically not an external one, such as a lack of money, business know-how, marketing savvy, business contacts or an MBA. The biggest obstacle is always an internal one — fear!

The path of entrepreneurship is lined with risks and obstacles. There is a lot more risk involved in setting up your own shop. Risk of failing, risk of going broke, risk of looking foolish to friends or colleagues, risk of letting people down who depend on you and the list goes on.

So how can you get past all of your fears and find the guts to jump boldly out of your comfort zone into the thin blue air [...]

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