Margie Warrell

I’m currently back in Australia which is in the midst of a federal election campaign. Last week Australia’s Prime Minister Julia Gillard, who deposed her former boss Kevin Rudd in June and has had anything but a smooth campaign to date, announced that from here on in the Australian people would see the “real Julia.” Frankly, I was quite surprised by her comment which left me, and I assume many Australians, wondering who we had seen up until now if it was not the “real Julia.”

Of course there are many traits we want from our leaders — political, corporate and otherwise. Intelligence, hard work, common sense, integrity, empathy, humility, decisiveness, and the list goes on. But what we all crave is for them to be authentic, genuine… real. And when it is absent (or perceived as lacking), it can profoundly damage trust and diminish their ability to exert the influence, and create the positive change, needed of them as leaders.

Reflecting on the backlash Julia Gillard received this last week for her comments, it made me think about the bigger lesson here for all of us, regardless of our politics or leadership aspirations. Obviously there is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to fit in, to be liked, approved of, or “look good” in the eyes of others. You and I are, after all, only human. However, if your desire to achieve this comes at the expense of expressing who you really are — no smoke and mirrors or custom-designed masks – or requires selling out on a core value in some way, then it comes at a steep personal price. Think about it: how can you be the real you when you are preoccupied with impressing people or having them like you? You can’t! That’s not to say you aren’t mindful of how you might be perceived nor that you act in ways that are disrespectful to those around you, but rather that you don’t allow others’ opinions (or perceived opinions) define who we will be or keep you from being real. [...]

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Times are tough and many people are struggling to stay optimistic given the state of the economy, the insecurity of their jobs (if they have one), the size of their mortgage and the strain that puts on relationships at home. Maybe you are one of them or maybe you know someone else who is having it tough.

But just because we can find lots of reasons for feeling down and becoming a bona fide pessimist doesn’t mean that we should. The fact is, optimism creates opportunity and pessimism kills it. Expecting good things to happen will lead to taking actions that produce positive results. Expecting only more bad stuff to come your way will keep you from doing the very things that might have minimized or avoided just that!

The word “optimism” actually derives from the Latin word “optima,” meaning the best outcome or belief in the greatest good. As I said during my recent interview on the TODAY SHOW, while some people are naturally more optimistic than others, ultimately we all get to wake up every day and choose whether we are going to be a glass half-full, or a glass half-empty person.

Below are 7 strategies for filling up your cup of optimism. My challenge to you is to try at least one of these and notice the difference it makes to your outlook and your life.

1.  SET YOUR INTENTION

 Before you step out of bed (and if you forget, before you leave your home) take one minute to set your intention for the day by coming up with one word that resonates with you about the attitude or spirit you want to bring to the day. Being intentional acts like a compass and helps you better focus your time and energy. For instance, if you’ve been looking for work but have found yourself stuck in a rut and procrastinating, you might choose to be proactive and set yourself a goal of making at least 5 calls/emails today to follow up on job leads and opportunities. The intention you choose will vary according to the challenges you are facing.

QUESTION: What is your intention for the rest of today? To be more assertive, organized, focused, tenacious, self-reliant, resourceful, determined, persistent or patient?

2. PERFORM AN ACT OF COURAGE

Often the very thing we need to improve our circumstances requires courage. That is, closing the gap between where you are now and where you would like to be in life will require stepping outside your comfort zone and doing something that scares you in some way. It could be picking up the phone to invite someone to dinner, attending an exercise class or having a conversation with your boss about an issue that’s been upsetting you. There is no better way to build self-confidence than doing something that stretches you as it teaches you that you are capable of more than you thought you were.

QUESTION: What would you do today if you had no fear of failing or looking foolish? [...]

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As you know, I’m all about thinking bigger – about ourselves, about our problems and about what we are capable of in life.

Yesterday morning an old friend told me that Oprah is running a competition to see who she will sponsor to host a talk show on her new Oprah Winfrey Network when she steps down next year.  With thousands of people already with their hat in the ring, some with over a million votes (yes, this is a popularity contest like American Idol!) I immediately came up with a dozen reasons why I shouldn’t bother. Every one was driven by fear – fear of looking foolish, fear of failing, fear of you thinking I’m kidding myself for even trying, fear of wasting my precious time. But I’m pleased to say I caught myself midstream.  How wimpy of me to let my fears keep me from daring to try.  So while the odds are stacked high against me, I’ve decided to throw my hat into the ring anyway.

What I need now is for you to send a vote my way and share this link with your network to stand a chance. But, as a believer in the power of possibility, I am going to put myself out there. As much as I would love the opportunity to share my message with a few gazillion more people than I do right now, what is more important to me than the outcome is the knowledge that I at least gave it a go. Whatever happens, I will always be able to look back and know that I gave it my best.  To me that is what success is ultimately all about, doing the best you can with what you have been given. Whether we achieve our goals and dreams isn’t as important as the fact that we had the courage to pursue them.

PLEASE VOTE FOR ME NOW:
http://bit.ly/DreamBIGOprah

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Terrorism, recession, identity theft, melting ice caps, corporate downsizing, child predators, online predators, super bug predators . . . every day the headlines scream at us to batten down the hatches, sanitize our hands, our minds, our voices and avoid any possibility of rocking our boat or the boats of others. We live in a culture of fear that urges us to avoid change, trust sparingly, stick with the status quo (however miserable) and minimize all risk of failure or social embarrassment.

It’s for this same reason that you need to be increasingly vigilant of the fears that arise in you, discerning about which fears you pay heed to and mindful of the oppressive impact giving them power can have.

And if you don’t? Well. . . I hate to be the bearer of bad news but. . .

[...]

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Yesterday a friend emailed me to say that after years of trying to make it as a freelance writer she’s admitted defeat and is now trying to find a paying job. I replied to her that she needed to drop the ‘defeated’ talk and instead re-frame her situation more positively. That is, that she enjoys freelance writing and while she will continue to write she is pursuing work that provides a more reliable source of income. She quickly replied that she felt far better (and I’m guessing, more powerful) putting it that way.

And last week, after my interview on the TODAY SHOW, I was inundated with emails and blog comments from people saying how much my words resonated. Of the many things I said during the interview was that we each need to make a powerful choice not to be defeated, nor succumb to fear, nor to take life’s inevitable rejections and setbacks too personally. Put another way, we need to have our own unique Emotional Stimulus Plan that will enable us to ride out the bumps, weather the setbacks and rise to the challenge that comes our way.

Right now there are millions of people having to deal with significant changes and challenges in their lives due to the economic crisis that has rippled out from the burst of the housing bubble. People are needing to cut back on all sorts of things they’d previously taken for granted. Suddenly their financial security isn’t so secure and their lifestyle is being trimmed in ways they’d never foreseen. Without warning they are finding themselves wrestling with an identity crisis because so much of their identity has been tied to their job, their income, their McMansion and the list goes on.

So just as the Federal Government has taken it upon itself to launch an Economic Stimulus Plan, so too will you benefit from creating your own plan to weather whatever storms are blowing over you. Sure, many people are suffering hardship that is beyond their control, but if you take a step back from all the fear mongering and dooms-daying and look heavenward you will notice that the SKY IS NOT FALLING and that, while times are tough, times have been tough before (actually, far tougher!) and humanity has not come to a crashing halt. The reality is that in the US and other developed countries, we are living way better than any time over the course of human history. So you have to give up your spa trips for awhile? Come on! Just as losing your job or downsizing your home doesn’t mean you are a failure, neither does unmanicured feet render you unlovable (“And thank goodness for that!” cry my neglected toenails!). [...]

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I’m too old…or too young/inexperienced , I’m just not that kind of person, I’m not a morning person, I’m a creature of habit , I’m too busy, too unfit, too disorganized, too… (you fill in the blank) , My family/spouse/kids/boss/dog/pet fish mightn’t like it … I’ve heard them all!

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Today is Women’s Equality Day and in a few hours I’m off to speak to a Federal Department here in DC to celebrate the occasion. The topic: “Leadership is a choice, not a position.” I think leadership ties in beautifully with women’s equality, indeed with all equality. After all, the women’s equality movement began in 1848, when five women sitting around drinking tea in Seneca Falls decided to put a notice in the local newspaper announcing “a convention to discuss the rights of women” to be held six days later. Six days later they drafted a declaration stating that “we find these truths to be self evident: that all men and women are created equal.” Of the 100 people who signed that declaration, only one, nineteen year old Charlotte Woodward, lived long enough to gain the right to vote 72 years later in 1920.

Now I’m not here to give you a history lesson on women’s rights. Rather I want to challenge you to examine how you define leadership, and more particularly, how you see yourself as a leader.  After all, how you see yourself as a leader determines how others see you.  For me, authentic leadership is about making a stand for what we believe in, for speaking up and for daring to create change (for ourselves and others) regardless of our formal position, status or authority. Leadership involves putting ourselves at risk in some way — but then again, to be outstanding in life, we must first be prepared to stand out in some way. [...]

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Have you ever wondered why so many adults, who never learn to swim as children, never attempt to learn as adults? Often it is because they do not want to go through the same learning curve that children have to. The fact is, to become masterful at something, whether it be swimming, speaking a new language, or cooking souffle like Julia Childs, you have to perservere. There’s really no other way around it.

Too often though, when our initial attempt to do something doesn’t produce the results we’ve envisioned, we throw in the towel. “I just don’t have a green thumb,” we say. “I’m just not that musical,” “I’m just not wired that way.” In short, we come up with all sorts of excuses and justifications to spare us the possibilitiy of another failure. One thing I’ve come to know by reading about and meeting successful people over the years is that [...]

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As you read the title of this post perhaps you were thinking “umm… I don’t know… could I?”. If that was the case for you then I want you to begin by thinking about something in your life that is not how you would like it to be right now: a person who is annoying you, a situation which is causing you to feel overwhelmed or frustrated or unappreciated, something you would like but aren’t getting. It doesn’t have to be something huge…  but it might be! The only criterion is that it’s something that isn’t the way you would ideally like it to be.

Now think about what specifically it is in regard to this “issue” that you would need to be different for you to feel better about it; or put another way, for there to be no issue at all.

Finally, ask yourself whether or not you have made a clear request to have this need fulfilled?

My experience is that often [...]

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“Live your life with arms wide open, Today is where your book begins… Your life is still unwritten…”

These are the lyrics from a song I recently discovered on my 11 year old sons iPod.  Titled ‘Unwritten’, Natasha Bedingfield sings beautifully about what I believe about so passionately. That is, that we are the authors of our lives and that every day we get the opportunity to turn the page and write a new story about who we are and the circumstances we find ourselves in that determines our moment by moment experience of life.   [...]

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