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Yesterday morning Al Jazeera TV network called me to do a live studio interview in their D.C. studio, via satellite from their Qatar headquarters.  I jumped at it. Living in Washington D.C., and indeed America, has been packed with cool opportunities and new experiences. Life here has been nothing short of amazing. So choosing to change where I live isn’t all easy.

The packers arrive today. They will bring boxes, tape, paper…  lots of it.

In a few days my life as I know it will be packed away and loaded into a container bound for Australia.

I know moving back to Australia will be wonderful on many fronts. But there is something about the very nature of change that makes it difficult, even when it’s change we choose and change that holds much to look forward to.

The photo above is one that I took of a former village consumed by the sands of the Sahara Dessert in southern Algeria many years ago. It’s message: Nothing is permanent.

The fact is that all change, even change for the better, is hard. Sure as one chapter closes, another begins. But there’s something about the closing that brings up a sense of loss, grief even.

I’ve felt an abundance of mixed emotions since my husband and I decided to move back to Melbourne earlier last month.

None of them are bad. Though some haven’t felt so good.
I’ve felt sad at leaving so many friends whom I’ve grown to love so much.
I’ve felt anxious about choosing the right place to live, and getting my kids into great schools.
I’ve felt overwhelmed at the thousand things we’ve had to do to close down our life here and set it up there.
I’ve felt delighted about living close to the beach, and closer to my parents, brothers and sisters.
I’ve felt touched by the outpouring of love from our friends as they’ve shared how much they will miss us.
I’ve felt perplexed by the fact that some really cool opportunities in TV-land have come just as I’m getting ready to go.
I’ve felt scared that maybe I will never have life so good again.
And I’ve felt excited about the opportunities that I will create in Australia… opportunities I’ve yet had time to even imagine. Haven’t had the time! [...]

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Plenty of change lies ahead in 2012.  For you. For me. For people around the globe. That you will experience changes, and need to face new challenges, is a given. Whether your experience of them is one of wonder or terror, enthusiasm or despair, is a choice.  So when it comes to the spirit in which you will step into the year ahead, where is your life in 2012 calling on you to be more courageous?

You’ve likely experienced it yourself: Brimming with resolve on December 31st as you boldly declare the goals and changes you plan to make in the year ahead, and by January 31st that resolve is evaporated into the crisp winter air, nowhere to be found.

New Year Resolutions? Bah Humbug. What knucklehead came up with the idea anyway?!

There’s a reason less than 10% of people ever see their new year’s resolutions into reality and end up stuck in the same ruts year after year:  Change is difficult.  Heck, if it were easy to keep our resolve, and stick with the changes we commit to making as we sip champagne on New Year’s Eve, we’d all be meditating daily, looking svelte in our jeans, drinking a gallon of water daily, snacking on raw veggies and free of credit card debt.  The truth is that we all have the ability to make important changes in our life, and to keep our New Year’s Resolutions (assuming, that is, that we didn’t make them in a drunken stupor).  The problem is that we often lack the strategies needed to see them through.

I’ve got a L-O-T of change ahead in 2012.  Moving to a new country (Australia, here I come!). Finding and setting up a new home. Managing my business across two hemispheres. Settling my four kids into new schools. Making new friends.  Building new business networks. And in the midst of it all, enjoying the process (i.e., not getting stuck in “overwhelm”), staying fit(-ish), and finishing the book I embarked upon in 2011. Yep, when it comes to life changes, my cup runneth over in 2012!

There’s a science to success when it comes to achieving goals and making important life changes.   Using the right strategies can make the vital difference between optimism and overwhelm, productivity and procrastination, resignation and resilience… success and failure!  So I hope that as I do my best to “walk my talk” in 2012, that you will find the 8 strategies below helpful in making the changes and taking the chances you want to make in the months ahead… purposefully, powerfully and courageously!

8 Strategies to Successful Changes in 2012 and far far beyond!

1.   Connect to Core Values. Most people like the idea of looking better, getting richer and feeling happier.  But if you are going to stick with a resolution that requires changing a long-held habit of thought or action, it has to go beyond superficial desires and connect with your deepest values. When you have a deeper sense of purpose, it compels you to dig deep when the going gets tough and stay the course – no matter what hurdles you have to jump.

2. Be Specific.   Resolutions to ‘eat better, get fitter, be happier, relax more or have better life balance’ are doomed for failure because they lack specificity. The more specific you are, the more likely you will be able to succeed.   Describe your goals and resolutions in ways that allow you to track your progress and measure your success.

3.   Design Your Environment. Your environment can be a powerful source of support.  It can also be equally powerful in sabotaging your resolve if you don’t attend to it. Create a progress chart, enlist the help of family or friends to hold you accountable, hire a trainer, create a blog.  Design your environment so that it’s hard NOT to do what you resolved to do. I always lay my workout gear beside my bed at night to make it that little bit easier to get dressed when my alarm goes off at 5:30am.  I also enlist my husband, who gets up at 5:15 (yes, he’s even less sane than me) to make sure I don’t press snooze!

4. Center Your Resolve. Being ambitious is great. But trying to do too many things at once can make you so unfocused that you just bounce around like Tigger. Besides, you have the rest of the year to pursue other goals and changes. Set yourself up for success and start with just one major undertaking come January 1st.   Then break that goal down into small bite size steps.  Small steps, strong start!

5.   Write it Down. Don’t just think it, ink it!  A Stanford study found that when people wrote down their goal, it increased their odds of accomplishing it by over 70%.   But don’t just write down the specific goal, write down how you will feel when you’ve accomplished it.  When you have finished penning your desires, jot down on sticky pads the words that inspire you most about your goal and put them around your home/office to remind you of why you are committed to doing what it takes to bring your goal into reality.

6. Reframe Failure. Your failures will not define your success in the year ahead, but how you respond to them will. Social conditioning too often leads us to believe that if you fail you should go home, hide your dreams under your bed, and never let them see daylight again. Don’t make a failure mean more than it does. You tried something, it didn’t work out as you wanted. Period. Reflect on the lesson your failure offers, making adjustments accordingly, then tap your inner John Wayne:  saddle up again and climb back on your horse!

7. Focus on the process. Psychologists have found that it takes at least 30 days to firmly establish a new habit of thought or behavior. It’s easy to get caught up in an initial wave of enthusiasm, certain that your efforts will meet with early success, only to come crashing down when they don’t.  Rather than focus purely on the goal, direct your attention toward becoming masterful in the activity or process that takes you toward it.  For instance, if you want to become more fit, focus on being able to jog a little bit further every time you go for a walk, rather than being able to run 5 miles by day five. Remember, small steps. If you stick with the process and embrace the learning that process entails, you will meet with success. Promise!

8. Do One Thing Every Day.   Make a commitment that every single day you will do one thing, however small it may seem, in the direction of your vision.  Okay, so you didn’t get to the gym like you’d planned.  How about 5 minutes of stretching?  Life rewards action.  And while some actions may not seem all that significant, when you take any action that serves your greatest good, it sends a message to your sub-conscious that you are still in the game, and that change is still in progress (however slowly).

Making changes to any aspect of your life demands focused effort, perseverance, and a good measure of boldness. But no more than already you have within you, just waiting to be channeled toward an endeavor that truly inspires you.  As I pursue my goal to spread my message of courage more widely around the globe, I challenge you to step beyond the doubts, excuses and stories that have kept you from experiencing the best of who you are, trusting in yourself more deeply, and boldly stepping into a future that honors your greatness.

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Ask my kids and they will embarrassingly admit that I often burst into sporadic song.  And one of my all time favorites is Peter Allen’s “I still call Australia home.”  Well, next month, after ten years in the US, it will be again.

Yes, I’m moving!

Moving kids. Moving house. Moving state. Moving country. Moving hemisphere!

Down Under!

After a decade living and thriving and LOVING the USA, I’m heading back to my homeland, back to my ‘hometown’ of Melbourne. Closer to Grandpa’s farm, closer to cousins, closer to the beach!

Weeks after 9/11 when I moved with my husband and three very young children to Texas, I thought we’d be in the US for just a short time. Ten years (and one Texan – our 4th child) later I’ve become so at home in America that I feel like I’m leaving one home to move to another.  After all, I have only lived in Melbourne briefly since heading off to  live in Papua New Guinea 17 years ago.

I’m guessing you’re surprised.   Well let me tell you, so am I! [...]

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ThanksgivingGrowing up in Australia, my only experience of Thanksgiving was through American television. Somehow it seemed a lot like our Christmas. . . except of course without Santa and warm sunshine. After a decade in the US, I have really come to love the Thanksgiving holiday. The idea that the last Thursday of November each year is put aside so that people can come together and share thanks for their blessings is, I believe, a very special and valuable tradition. [...]

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 One evening last week a girlfriend dropped in for an impromptu visit and said she needed a glass of wine. Being the good friend I am I dutifully shared a bottle with her. Which was all fine until the next morning when I realized that I’d forgotten to set my alarm and missed one of my kids parent teacher interviews at 7.15. Needless to say, when I rang him to apologize I felt very badly. He couldn’t have been nicer but still, I dropped the ball big time.

And then, over the weekend, I snapped at my son as I was  driving him to basketball… or was it soccer or a friends house… too long ago to remember.  He was flipping through radio stations to the point that it was doing my head in. I could have gently asked him to leave the dial alone. But no, I snapped. He recoiled, hurt.  Aggggh…I am sooo not a perfect mum. 

And now, today I am writing this article. Or trying to. Wishing I could up with the perfect words to write to change your life forever. Alas, I’m guessing I will fall far short.

And so it is that I go through my days, often slipping up, messing up, and failing to live up to the expectations and standards I have for myself. I am sooo not perfect. In fact if you were to measure the distance between me and perfect, it would have be done in light years.

At the heart of “perfectionism” lies a fear of not being good enough; of not being “worthy” just as we are. This fear drives us into an illusive quest to live up to a standard that is simply unattainable.

Which has me thinking – who ever said I was supposed to be? More so, how can I respond more compassionately and constructively with myself when I slip up, mess up, and fall far short of being the model mother, wife, friend, writer, courage evangelist, and human being that I aspire to be. I know that I’m not alone in my tendency to beat myself up when I fall down and compare myself to those who seem to be sooo much better (and closer to “perfect”) than I am.

Don’t get me wrong though - I  have no bone to pick with perfectionists. [...]

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Ten years ago today we witnessed extraordinary bravery and heroism by people who would have told you they were neither brave nor heroic. What better way to honor their lives than to live our own with greater courage.

I remember watching a young woman, ashen faced, on my television in the hours after the twin towers collapsed.  She was in Manhattan and was searching desperately for her fiance. He worked on the eighty-something floor of the World Trade Center. They were getting married later that month. She had been walking non-stop for six or seven hours, from hospital to hospital trying to find him. She held a placard up to the camera with a picture of him with his name underneath and her cell phone. She pleaded for anyone who had seen him to contact her.  She wasn’t crying. She looked too shocked to cry.  She just said she was keeping faith that he would be found alive and that she would not stop her search until she found him.

Today as millions commemorate the tenth anniversary of the devastating attacks on America, there is much to reflect on.  Just as none of us could ever imagined the events of that day, none of us could know how history would unfold in the decade to follow.

Amidst all the lessons and remembrances,  I believe one of the most important things we should all do today is to reflect on  [...]

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From oppression in Syria to famine in Somalia, from the UK riots to the US Credit Rating, from high unemployment to low housing prices to drawn out wars claiming the lives of the finest of young men and women – there’s no doubt about it, we are living in turbulent times.

Switch on the TV and you are quickly bombarded with a zillion reasons why you need to hunker down, play safe, avoid risk, stash your cash under your bed, and think about getting a script for anti-anxiety medication.  Just last night watching cable news, a leading anchor predicted that the discontent fuelling the riots sweeping across the UK would soon be fuelling similar violence in the US.  And I was only watching TV for 15 minutes to catch that.   The messages preaching doom and gloom are pervasive and never have we felt like we have more reasons to feel afraid.

Left unchecked though, anxiety can run amok and fear can become a crippling emotion. And while fear serves a positive purpose in our life to an extent, when we give in to fear on a regular and ongoing basis, it can spread like a virus, until it infiltrates into every corner of our life, our thoughts, decisions and actions.  Like all emotions, fear is contagious and powerful. It can siphon the joy out of our day and the life out of our lives. Which is why, now, more than ever before, we need to be mindful about the potentially oppressive impact of fear and increasingly discerning about which fears we pay heed to. After all, history has shown us that it is those who refuse to succumb to fear, and who act most boldly, who reap the richest rewards during times of adversity.

Yes, fear is a powerful emotion but it doesn’t have to overpower our life.

So let me ask you – where is fear running the show in your life and, more so, where is there an opportunity for you right now (yes today), to be more courageous?

Firstly, let me just clarify what I mean by courage. Courage is not the absence of fear, or self-doubt, or misgivings about our future.  It’s not pretending that tragedy and turmoil isn’t happening in the world around us, it’s not turning a blind eye to oppression or minimizing genuine threats to our freedom, security,  and livelihood. Rather courage is choosing to focus on what we can do and take positive action in the presence of your fear. Courage is choosing to stay optimistic even when the headlines preach that the end of the world is nigh (2012 is it?). It’s choosing to stick your neck out and speak up about an issue even when you know it could ruffle feathers. It’s saying no to a relationship or circumstance that doesn’t inspire you in order to make space for one that does. It’s putting your hand up to present your teams idea to management or take the lead on a business initiative.  It’s inviting somone over for dinner even though your home doesn’t qualify for the cover of Vogue living. It’s giving up having to control your future (since you can’t anyway), and holding on to faith in yourself that whatever the future holds, you have the ability to handle it.

[...]

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Every day I doubt myself. And every day I have to remind myself that my doubts are not who I am, but just my fear trying to keep me thinking small and playing safe.  While there are many days I don’t have to wrestle for very long with doubt or fear or misgivings about what I’m doing, who I’m being, or where I’m going, there are still plenty days that I do.   But what I know for sure is this: that we human beings, me included, are bigger than any doubt we can ever have, stronger than any fear, and more powerful in our ability to make positive changes in the world around us, begining in our inner world, than we can imagine.

Perhaps your idea of power relates to people in positions of high office and formal authority — politicians, company presidents, policemen and the like. But I define power not as formal authority, but as one’s ability to affect change. In other words, being powerful is far more than a job title; it’s an attitude. To me, truly powerful people are those who live life on their terms, who are comfortable in their own skin, clear about what they want, courageous in how they go about achieving it, and very conscious of the power they have to choose their response to their circumstances. They aren’t waiting on some mythical super hero to solve their problems or grant them persmission to live life on their own terms, they are their own super hero.

I guess it goes without saying that there are many people in the world who don’t live their lives powerfully. People who: [...]

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Neuro-plasticity research now proves what many have long known:  that you are never too old to change, and more so, that you can rewire your brain to think and act in ways that lead to greater success in work, love & life.

The first time I read that my brain was plastic I thought it was a joke.  That was until I realized the author wasn’t talking about plastic as in a plate, but as in pliable.

As brain imaging technology has advanced, so too has our understanding of how the brain works. One of the most significant findings has been the discovery that our brain doesn’t stop growing when our body does; that is, that it has the ability to adapt and change right up to the end of our life.  This means that just because we have well established ways of processing information and responding to our environment, we are still capable of developing new and more constructive ways in the future.  While a deeper understanding of neuro-plasticity is extremely relevant for people who have suffered from a stroke or other traumatic brain injury, what has piqued my interest most is its application for those of us whose brains already work perfectly well.  Most days, anyway.

Neuro-plasticity research now proves what many have long known:  that you are never too old to change, and more so, that you can rewire your brain to think in ways that lead to greater happiness & success.

I must admit though, my enlightened understanding about my brain’s “plasticity” has been both a help and a bother.  No longer can I justify my inability to figure out how to back-up my computer with excuses like “I’m just not a technology person.”  And though at times I’ve cursed my new found knowledge about my brain’s ability to master skills that have long eluded me, develop healthier habits, and learn new ways of responding to environmental triggers, ultimately this knowledge has been extremely valuable.  I now know that the old adage “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” is really just a false and convenient belief that spares us from the effort involved in learning new tricks – like backing up my computer! [...]

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FocusOver the last few months I have given myself a self-diagnosis of A.D.D.  While I’m not sure that I meet the criteria to make me a hardcore case of Attention Deficit Disorder, I certainly have been struggling with ”Attention Distraction Disorder.” And the more I’ve shared my problem with other people - whether friends, clients or colleagues – the more I’ve realized just how prevalent this problem is.  So if you are also struggling with keeping focus in a world brimming with distractions, read on…before your phone rings and your attention is pulled elsewhere.

Between our Blackberries (dubbed “Crackberries” for a good reason), Twitter, Facebook, texting and a zillion other sources of potential distraction, it’s becoming harder and harder to stay focused on one thing for very long.  Ask most Gen Y’ers about this and they will tell you they can easily finish an essay while texting friends and engaging in 5 simultaneous online chats discussions.  But studies by leading universities, from MIT to Stanford, are finding that our brain simply cannot do multiple things at once.  As our attention becomes spread across multiple tasks, it grows weaker,  our focus poorer and our productivity lower.  A recent  study by Workplace Options has found that American businesses lost $650 billion dollars a year lost productivity through workplace distractions. Yes, that was billion, not million. [...]

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